Someday at Christmas
by Sehrezad
Summary: "'You don't fool me, John Proudstar. Go, get the girl.' He didn't have any time to voice a What? before Lorna bounced away with a wicked grin on her face." It's Christmas Eve and amidst all the celebrations, John is ready to make things less complicated between him and Clarice. ThunderBlink!


**Someday at Christmas**

 _Disclaimer: I don't own anything._

 _Summary: "'You don't fool me, John Proudstar. Go, get the girl.' He didn't have any time to voice a_ What? _before Lorna bounced away with a wicked grin on her face." It's Christmas Eve and amidst all the celebrations, John is ready to make things less complicated between him and Clarice. ThunderBlink!_

 _Happy holidays!_

* * *

Finishing his rounds around the premises of HQ, John stepped into the building. The hall was bustling with life – it seemed that everybody was out and about. And everybody was having a good time.

Joy and excitement was in the air.

It was a pleasant change from the everyday anxiety and uncertainty that always clouded the life in HQ.

It was Christmas.

It seemed that the Secret Santa gifts had already been exchanged and the merry crowd was ready for dinner.

He gave a cautious look to the huge Santa that greeted anybody who entered the building and fleetingly wondered whether it would be a good idea to leave it there after the holidays. He was sure it would keep away any unwanted intruder. That thing was not only hideous but creepy as hell, too.

Trying to ignore that thing, his eyes ran over the familiar faces of his companions. He could spot Marcos filling a tray with food, ready to retire for the night to celebrate in private with Lorna. He could see the Struckers chatting merrily by one of the large tables that were set up for the occasion. He was glad they decided to share this time with the others. Reed was in a lighthearted conversation with Harry who was only half-listening, his eyes always searching out something behind the other man. He followed Harry's eyes and his eyebrows rose. It was Sonia. She, Sage and the new guy, Vince – John thought was his name – were tending to the children, Vince unashamedly flirting with a clueless Sage. Poor guy.

Everybody was there. Everybody was having a good time.

However, he could not find the one person he was looking for.

Amidst the bustling crowd, he closed his eyes and reached out for a trace of her.

He was disturbed, though.

"You don't have to track her," Lorna appeared in front of him sporting a Santa hat and a huge grin. "After the nativity play, she took her leave. She's hiding upstairs."

John gave his friend a funny look to which he only got a smug smirk. "You don't fool me, John Proudstar. Go, get the girl."

He didn't have any time to voice a _What?_ before Lorna bounced away with a wicked grin on her face.

John shook his head with a small smile before walking towards the food table.

* * *

He found Clarice curled up on a couch in a far corner of the building. The merry chatter of the others and the never-ending Christmas carols could still be heard in the distance but they had all faded into background noise. She was alone there.

He sighed before stepping closer and placing a tray of food down on a coffee table that had seen better days.

Clarice looked up from the torn paperback she was reading and he let a warm smile creep on his face when her expression, though surprised, turned welcoming.

"Hey," she greeted him with a smile of her own, which John took as an invitation and joined her on the couch.

"I couldn't find you in the festive crowd."

"Not really one for social gatherings," she shrugged.

"I thought so," he agreed. "But it's Christmas," he added and got a questioning look in return. "You do know you started all of this, right?" John looked at Clarice amused.

"Me? What?"

"This Christmas madness the HQ had become," he laughed.

"Says the man who dragged a freaking pine tree into the building," Clarice deadpanned and John had nothing to say to that: he did drag a tree inside. "I do love Christmas," she added then. "But I don't make a big deal out of it."

"Says the one who's been singing 'Jingle Bells' ever since Christmas decorations appeared in town," John shot back with a twinkle in his eyes. "Not to mention the industrial amount of Christmas decorations you made with the kids."

"Oh, that." It was cute how she blushed, John found. "I just kept the kids busy. Don't blame that insanity over there on me." She indicated towards the general direction of the festive crowd. "And just for the record, I strongly opposed to that inflatable Santa in the hall. I can't even imagine from what dumpster the guys pulled that one out."

"True that," John chuckled.

"And I'm not taking responsibility for any of the mistletoes," she made a point to make that clear.

"Actually, that was Lorna," John winced. He had a suspicion that his green-haired friend was intent on getting him and Clarice under one of those things. But no need for Clarice to know that. "Anyway," he cleared his throat. "I brought you some food before it completely disappears."

"Thank you!" She sat up, putting her book aside. "What's for dinner?"

"Okay, so there is the ever popular canned baked beans," he started with a frown. That thing was inedible in his, and, really, everybody else's opinion but Clarice loved them. "For some reasons, there were still a lot of them. Can you imagine that?"

"Lucky me." It was cute how excited she could get about a can of beans.

"I also found Cup Noodles, some bread and rice… and some dubiously looking stew Shatter had made. Oh, and there were still some apple juice left."

"It sounds delicious."

"And…" John continued extremely proud of himself. "I could even save a gingerbread man for you."

"Oh, you don't…" Her eyes lit up with excitement as she reached for the cookie. "My hero."

"It wasn't an easy feat," John straightened to strengthen his point. "That girl with the blue hair can be really scary."

"Dorah?" Clarice laughed. "She is four years old."

"A very scary four years old."

"Here," she broke the gingerbread into half and offered one to him. "I know you have a sweet tooth."

"Thank you but I brought it for you."

"I insist. After all you went to all this trouble."

"It wasn't trouble at all," he objected accepting the piece of cookie anyway. "Actually… I hoped that… that we could have dinner… together… that is. You know… you and me." He winced in frustration. When had he become a stammering fool?

"You want to spend Christmas Eve with me?" Clarice asked swallowing the last of the cookie.

"You sound so surprised."

"No. Yes. Don't you have anywhere else to be?"

That last question took him by surprise but he tried to look not too disappointed. "It's all right," he started getting up. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"What? No." Clarice's exclamation stopped him from turning. "I'm sorry." She shook her head. "I didn't mean it that way. I just meant that last time I checked things were complicated. I just assumed that you have other engagements."

"I want to spend Christmas with you," he said seriously. "As simple as that." He was done with complicated. He'd been for a long time. He just hoped that Clarice understood his meaning.

"I'd like that." The smile on Clarice's face took his breath away. And when she patted the spot right next to her, he didn't hesitate to take a seat once again. Clarice quickly snatched a can of baked beans. John shook his head in bemusement and offered her the other one as well he himself going for the Cup Noodles.

For a while, they ate in companionable silence, silent Christmas music and the others' holiday cheer filling the air.

"So…" Clarice was the one who finally broke the silence with a smirk on her face. "About that Christmas tree…"

"In my defense, you seemed so into the Christmas spirit… making Christmas decorations with the kids… and singing… and making that nativity play… I just thought that… it would be a shame if you hadn't had a Christmas tree." Then he stopped right there, realizing a moment too late what he had said. He cleared his throat. "And the kids, of course. The kids would have been devastated."

"Oh, I only thought that preparing for Christmas would be a good way to occupy the kids and draw their attention from… other stuff," she brushed him off with a shrug then stopped, looking at him with wide eyes. John watched as it finally caught up with her what he had said. He squirmed under her green gaze. "Oh my God," Clarice gasped and John could really see the surprise in her eyes. "You brought that huge tree because of me."

He was so embarrassed.

He just wanted Clarice to have a perfect Christmas. It was so good to see so enthusiastic that was not connected to their fight.

He had no idea that it'd been only for the kids' benefit.

"Well," he stammered for an explanation that would not make him look like a complete fool. "I did," he admitted awkwardly and looked down at the floor eyeing a dust bunny with everything he had. He only raised his eyes when he could feel Clarice's hand on his arm.

"Thank you," she said when he met her eyes at last. He nodded with a little self-conscious smile.

Looking into her eyes, John felt that it was the moment. It seemed perfect. Clarice looking up at him with sparkling eyes… the relaxed atmosphere of the holidays. He leant closer. Clarice didn't pull away. Those beautiful greens held his gaze.

A little bit closer…

Just a breath away…

Clarice grimaced.

John panicked.

"Who the hell is that?" Clarice exclaimed, straightening.

For a moment, John had no idea what Clarice was talking about – his mind was still addled by the fact that he was just about to kiss her – but then, he heard it.

"Tony," he shook his head. It seemed dinner was over in the hall as well and they started singing karaoke. "I think it's his rendition of 'Hark, the Harold angels sing'," John laughed.

"The big guy's butchering the song," Clarice grimaced.

"Can't argue with that."

"At least he sounds like he's having fun." Clarice shrugged with a lopsided smile.

"Everybody's having fun," John told her. "Thank you!"

"For what?"

"Starting this madness. If you hadn't started teaching the kids those godawful Christmas songs, nobody would have dared to celebrate. You started the ball rolling… And now HQ looks like as if a Christmas elf had puked on it," he added wryly.

"Well, you are certainly welcome then," Clarice grinned. "Are you having a good time?"

"The best." He nudged her with his shoulder then leant back on the couch. Clarice laughed with him and followed suite, leaning against him and snuggling closer when John brought his arm around her. For a long time, they just sat there enjoying each other's company. John was beginning to think that Clarice had fallen asleep when, ever so silently, he could hear her voice pick up.

A small smile played on his lips. She was singing.

His smile faded, however.

The words of the song struck a chord in him.

 _Someday all our dreams will come to be,_ _  
_ _Someday in a world where men are free,_ _  
_ _Maybe not in time for you and me,_ _  
_ _But someday at Christmastime._

They were in the middle of a war, a war that most probably would not end for a very long time. They were fighting. They were trying to survive. But they would not win the war… not in the foreseeable future anyway.

Nobody would win the war.

Once, he had thought otherwise. Once, he thought that he would see the end of all the struggle. He was ready to put everything on hold for that. For a future that promised freedom and happiness.

Not anymore.

It was taking its toll on him. He was exhausted and most of the days, he was wondering why they were fighting at all. It seemed so futile. The prejudice, the fear and the hatred of men so unyielding.

He had realized that he did not want to fight for a future in which he would not live. He had realized that he was not able to give his best by only concentrating on the goal. He had to have a reason to fight. And a vague promise of happiness was not enough. Not anymore.

He had learnt that it was today that was pushing him towards tomorrow.

It was the happiness of today that sustained him.

And he found that his happiness was Clarice. Her small smiles and carefree laughter. The sparkle in her eyes. Her trust in him.

And she was sitting right next to him… in his arms…

…and she was looking up at him with a funny expression.

He smiled at her and leant closer.

He wanted his today. He just hoped Clarice wanted it, too.

She met him halfway.

As their lips met, the world literally ceased to exist for John. And that was not some poetic exaggeration. Due to his abilities, he was always aware of the world around him no matter how good he had become at pushing it in the background. It was always there.

But not now.

It was only Clarice. Her scent around him, the movement of her body in his arms, her taste in his mouth, the little sounds she was making…

Sounds… That slowly brought him back into the world.

Why was she giggling against his lips?

"What is it? What the matter?" he asked in a worried tone as he let her go.

"It's me," Clarice declared with a grin. John had no clue what to say to that so he stuck with nodding. "It's me who wants to kiss you."

"Glad to hear that." He still had no idea what she was talking about.

"No, you don't understand. Ever since Sonia meddled with my memories…" That instantly snapped John out of it and he let her go so fast as if she had burnt him. He leant forward and propped his elbows on his thighs. Clarice stopped for a moment, noticing his sudden discomfort but, then, she straightened and nudged him to make him look at her. John did so reluctantly and when their eyes met, she continued. "Ever since that memory was stuck into my head, I couldn't stop thinking about you. How it felt to be in your arms… how you felt against me. It's quite infuriating, you know." She tried for a little chuckle but John was not returning it. "Anyway, what I want to say is that the memory slowly faded. I hardly ever think about it anymore. But I still feel all of it. I still can't stop thinking about you. I was never sure whether it is Sonia or me who's feeling those things."

"So…" John slowly straightened as Clarice's words sank in. "It is you." He let a small hopeful smile show. Clarice nodded reaching for his hand and he could swear that her eyes had never looked so enchanting as they did now as she was looking up at him with her own hopeful expression.

He quickly gathered her into his arms, swearing that he would never let her go.

As their lips fused together, he could feel her slim legs straddling him, and he groaned in pleasure.

They clung to each other for a long time, hands and lips roaming where they could reach.

John could have very much died in that moment and he would have gone a happy man.

But then Clarice surprised him.

"What do you say we continue spending Christmas together somewhere else?"

And, in case he had missed her meaning, she had ground against him.

"You sure?" he groaned.

She nodded, pressing a feather light kiss on his lips. "Let's make some real memories."

As she looked at him, there was everything in her gaze he had started to live for: the trust, the joy… and dare he say, love.

God, he loved that woman.

He grabbed her behind and hauled themselves up from the couch, carefully easing Clarice on the floor in the process.

They shared one last kiss before adjusting their clothes. John grabbed her hand then and started walking towards his room.

In the hall, though, Clarice made them stop by the Christmas tree that was tall enough to be fully visible from the first floor as well. They stopped by the railing and Clarice leant against it, letting his hand go and giving the tree a critical look.

"It's a nice tree," she finally allowed with a teasing grin.

"What can I say…" John joined her by the railing, looking at the tree. "I try to impress."

"I certainly hope so," Clarice looked up at him suggestively.

John was about to say something to that when a whooshing sound interrupted him. He looked for the source of the sound and his eyes fell on a mistletoe floating right above them. He rolled his eyes then searched for his sneaky friend.

"For God's sake, Proudstar," Lorna called from the other side of the stairs. "Kiss the girl already."

And kiss her he did… in a way that made even Lorna blush.

 **THE END**

 _Thanks for reading!_


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